Through the Ghost
by Samantha Riccio
Summary: It happened once a year that was all they allowed themselves to have. One day of grieving and one night to drink their sorrows away. Nothing to terrible ever happened; someone from their respective families would pick them up and no one would ever ask questions about what had happened that day.


**I know, it's been god knows how long since I've actually updated something…but if I may defend myself I just haven't been feeling like writing fan fiction. I've been trying to write something else, another novel for those who know me, and that's been taking up a lot of time. As well as school…don't even get me started on that. But I hope that you guys like this and not get onto me for not updating What Happens After...and as most of you know I am a very lazy person...**

**I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn!**

* * *

It happened once a year that was all they allowed themselves to have. One day of grieving and one night to drink their sorrows away. Nothing to terrible ever happened; someone from their respective families would pick them up and no one would ever ask questions about what had happened that day.

They had a weird little system that was silently agreed on after the second year of them meeting up on the same day at the same place. In the morning one of them would pick the other up and they would drive to the makeshift graves that they had made for their significant other. They would buy flowers, not too pricey because they knew that Mammon would be having a fit if she saw them spending so much money on something that would simply die later. They would sit in front of the wooden crosses with the names of their loved ones and they would pretend not to notice that the other was crying. The whole day would be spent like that and when the sun went down they would pick up and leave to the closest bar, one that the two went to so often the bar tender never had to ask what they wanted, and drink till they couldn't talk properly.

This year it was Lal's turn to pick up Belphegor at the Varia mansion. She arrived at the half destroyed mansion at exactly six o'clock, the time they had agreed on, and waited for Lussuria to stop fussing with Bel's appearance before they would drive for an hour to the gravesite.

"Lal Mirch." The self-proclaimed prince said somberly as he slipped into the passenger side of the impala that she drove. He wouldn't call her peasant, not today.

"Belphegor," She responded idly as she put the car in reverse and drove off, Lussuria waving to them as they left the drive way.

The younger blond held up a cup of coffee, "The Gaylord demanded that I bring this to you; he said it was your favorite but I'm not so sure of it." He shrugged casually as he held up the coffee cup that Lussuria made him bring along with the indigo roses from the rose bush that he had personally grown in memory of their lost Mist.

The blue haired woman didn't bother to look at him. "What did he spike it with this time?" She questioned. It was another weird tradition, each year Lussuria would spike her coffee, 'to help' as he liked to say.

Bel opened the lid and took a small, very small, sip of it. "It's whisky; he put whisky in it this year."

Lal held a hand out immediately for the coffee; she was soon greeted with the warm feeling of the coffee. The ex-military leader took a good long gulp of the coffee before putting it back in the cup holder. "What did he force down your throat this time?" She asked. It was small talk really, something to keep both of them in tack before they broke.

"He made my favorites…but I just threw it in the plant behind me when he went to get juice." The prince scoffed, turning his head towards the window. "What did you eat?" It came out as if he was nagging her because they both knew she hardly ate at all lately.

"Oregano came over…she forced some eggs down my throat." She said, switching on the radio to fill the silence that was made between their responses to the other. A Thousand Years by some female singer Lal couldn't remember was playing, both of them reached out and turned the radio off. Neither of them was in the mood for such a song.

"How long after she left did you throw it back up?" It was at this point that they both realized just how well they knew each other on this day.

Lal Mirch took her time with her answer. Finally after three minutes she admitted the truth. "I didn't even last a minute after she left my apartment…" She sighed knowing that he would be upset with her for not eating…he always used to get onto her for not taking care of herself.

In unison the two sighed at how pathetic they had actually become in the last week. They would be fine or at least pretend to be fine, for a whole year…but then the week prior to their annual meeting that would slip and both of them would go into a depression that did not go unnoticed by their Famaliga's. They would try, really try, to get the two out of their depressed states but all that seemed to do was worsen their conditions.

"Think they're mad at us? For not taking care of ourselves I mean…" Bel commented in almost a whisper as Lal turned a corner that would take them closer to their destination.

A deep breath to hold back the choked sob at the image of Colonnello giving her a stern look telling her that she needed to eat something as he put a full plate in front of her along with a glass of juice since he knew she wouldn't drink milk. He would have sat there with a gun pointed at her head until she finished all of it…they both knew that the gun was never loaded, he would never actually do it… "They're probably looking down at us now shouting about how stupid we are…" She answered her voice cracking slightly as she bit her lip to keep herself from crying. The blue roses that lay in the back seat neatly were mocking her, they looked so much like his eyes she hated it.

"She's probably counting up how much money I owe her for being an idiot." Bel commented dully as he traced a petal with a finger. He's known for a long time that his Mammon was a female. He had figured it out when he was ten and had gotten her to admit it, ever since then he was in love and would tell her very often when they were alone that he would marry her once both of them were of legal age to wed. She would chuckle at him and shake her head but she couldn't lie, she was looking forward to that day even more than he was.

* * *

The impala stopped in front of a large open field with two grave markers sticking out in the distance; on top of a small hill with a small lake at the bottom…the two had buried things that reminded them of their loves personally, shouting at anyone who even attempted to bother them during their task. No one had managed to get the two away from the fresh graves for nearly a week. They never found any bodies, but they were assured that this was the place that the two had died so it seemed best that they be 'buried' there. Bel had buried one of her old hats and one of the many, many, vaults of money she had because she always said she wanted to be buried with her money…there was no possible way he could burry all of it though…Lal had dug up one of his old bandana's that he had left over at her apartment and one of the crappy CD's he left in her car.

"Remind me again why we can't just be with them?" Bel asked when the car was shut and the two were staring blankly at their loves.

"To be honest I don't even remember why anymore…" Lal answered, short finger nails digging into her steering wheel to the point of them leaving indentions on the wheel.

He was the first one out of the car, and like every year he had to drag her out so that she didn't just sit there the whole time. She got like this at the last minute so it was up to him, someone who was just as emotionally damaged as she was, to drag her up the small graves. Once there it was hard for either of them to do much but cry and shout about all the things they can't say to their peers, things that they had wished to tell them or just anything.

The weather didn't suit their moods one bit, even at seven in the morning it was burning up and both of them stripped of their jackets, both were sporting suits with their lovers flame as their ties. Usually Bel would gag at the thought of wearing a suit, but this was a special day and he didn't care if he wore a stuffy suit. No one in the Varia messed with him today, not even Boss of Fran bothered with him, so he could have come here naked and they wouldn't have said a word about it

Belphegor put the roses down in the little vase that he always kept them in and then made sure that they stayed perfectly still at the side of her tiny grave while Lal procrastinated in the task and simply traced his name on the still rather smooth wood. She would finally remember the roses that were in her lap after she was done. "Good morning Viper my love, I brought your roses. The ones that Lussuria started to grow the day after we found out you left us." He said as he filled the vase with water to keep them fresh.

"It's been six years and I still can't go a day without thinking of you." She muttered dryly while her fingers worked to undo the little knot that kept the flowers wrapped up in the neat little packaging. "Well…more than six years…you've been stuck in my head since the day I met you." His cross didn't have much to it, just his first name since she never found out his middle or last name. He never told it to her and now she was really starting to hate herself for not asking him about it.

"Fran is a crappy replacement for you Mammy; he just complains about us kidnapping him…you would hate him." Bel said to his baby with a pout. "He doesn't like frogs either and I think that's totally out of line; how can you be Mammy's replacement and not adore frogs?" He scoffed, and yet a little bit of him thought that she would be snorting down at him for his attitude. "Even Chrome agrees that he should at least pretend to like the frog hat."

"Iemitsu thinks that if he gives me really hard missions that it'll keep my mind off of you…but they only make me miss you more because when I come home battered and bruised I remember that there's no one waiting for me with a first aid kit and a hot meal…you were the one that would break into my house and do that for me even when I complained that you shouldn't even have a key to my house." Lal said when the roses were neat and placed directly in front of the little wooden cross.

"The loud mouth tries to do our accounting now in days, but at the end of the day we all know that he's losing his precious hair because he's struggling to figure out how you managed our finances so perfectly." Bel continued to talk about how the rest of the Varia was doing without her before he got down to how he was.

"The CEDEF is starting to notice how bad this is getting to me, it's taken them years but now they're just 'in the neighborhood' on certain days to see how I'm doing. Basil's already told me it's so I don't get majorly depressed on your birthday or any other special dates." Lal said while the tears that wanted to be free finally fell. "It hurts so much without you here; I want to yell at Iemitsu so much for never being with his wife while he still has the chance. I should have taken all those chances to spend time with you while I could have; I'm so sorry." She managed to sob out before it just became too much.

A calloused hand was on her back, rubbing awkward circles on it in hopes of comfort. It didn't help, it never did.

"No one's touched your room, it's exactly the way you left it before the two of you left for your mission…No one besides me has even been in thee since then…don't worry no one has touched the vault that you keep behind the painting of Fantasma you have above your bed." Bel commented as he tried to hold his own composure. It was harder than it looked for the young prince; he was on the verge of crying alongside with the blue haired woman he was trying half-heartedly to comfort. "But you should be proud; Boss is kind enough to not assign your bedroom to anyone else. I think he's just afraid the prince would kill whoever goes in there without a second thought."

"Why did you leave me? I've been so alone for so long now. I hate you, I hate you so much that I want to just burn everything that has to do with you, but I can't. They're the only things keeping me sane and if I get rid of them god knows what would happen to me." Lal said angrily through the tears.

"We still put strawberry milk out at every meal…no one touches it, it's just there out of habit and no one wants to stop putting it there…we're just, I'm just, hoping that one day I'll wake up and you'll be there drinking out of the special glass that you only use for strawberry milk…we haven't gotten rid of that either; it's still in its spot on the first shelf so that it won't be that difficult for you to get it." Bel sniffled. His head was bent to the ground so that he was staring face to face at the photo of the two of them he had placed there long ago. He was surprised it was still there and that it was still in good condition. They were at Mafia Land in the photo that Lussuria had managed to get of them. Mammon was like usual counting her money and Bel was poking his food with one of his knifes a good old twisted smile on his face. It wasn't the best picture of them, but it was her favorite so he thought it would be best if it was at her grave instead of locked inside one of their rooms.

It took longer than Lal thought it would for her to stop crying like an idiot, but that was what you did when you lost the love of your life right? You cried over them for hours on end and no one could judge you because they didn't lose their other halves. "I found it finally, the picture you had taken of us when we were in the military…I found all of them just sitting there as if to mock me. I ended up putting one of them on my desk at work and no one tries to tease me about it anymore."

The prince looked at the name written in indigo; it read Viper Mammon Esper in his sloppy signature. He wished that he could have made it better than that but when he was writing it his hand just couldn't stay still and it ended up looking like it had when he was six years old. "You would probably fine me for not writing your name properly. I'll get around to fixing it one year." He said with determination. He said it every year, they both said things that they knew they couldn't ever really do. He felt it would be right anymore if he changed out the sloppily made cross for a new one, one that would probably be fancier than originally planned.

"You've all but ruined me for other men you know. Oregano tries to get me to go on pointless dates but I always find a way to get away from them because they aren't you and I don't think anyone can come close to being as amazing or absolutely annoying as you were." Lal said as she leaned back on her elbows and stared at the cross. "But I guess that it's alright, right, I mean knowing you if we were in the opposite situation you would be just as bad as I am now."

"The prince is still trying to get used to not holding his baby, he keeps reaching out to pick you up but there's nothing…the Gaylord thinks it's me trying to hug him but we all know I wouldn't touch his tranny ass." Bel scoffed looking up finally. "It's weird; we've all gotten really stingy with our money without our little baby to steal it. I know for a fact that my bank account has grown in the past six years." He dug around in his pocket and found some coins that Lussuria had probably slipped into his pockets, smiling he put them down next to the vase, "A gift to the princess from the prince!" He exclaimed holding his arms out to the sky.

Leaning forward Lal placed a few coins next to Bel's, "Take this as a sacrifice Viper; you've always wanted to me give you money without complaints."

Belphegor sighed and flopped down so that he was lying under Vipers grave marker. "I miss you Mammy, the Varia isn't the same without you to beat us all in poker. " He said looking up at the blue sky.

"Believe it or not I _miss_ hearing him say 'kora' all the time." The failed Arcobaleno said, biting at her lower lip.

"Did you ever get to see Mammon without her hood…?" Bel questioned out of nowhere. He'd never asked her that before.

"One time, because our boss demanded that she took the hood off for some sort of 'bonding' thing. I don't remember what she made us do." Lal mused. "Did you ever get to see her face?" She questioned.

Bel shrugged. "I saw her face; I never got to see her eyes though. I walked into her room not knowing she was asleep and it turns out she wasn't wearing a hood."

"She was about eighteen years old when we were cursed; she and Skull were the youngest. She had long hair, but it wasn't as long as Squalo's." Lal explained since he never got to see her as an adult.

"What color were her eyes?" Bel asked almost impatiently. He had never gotten to see them and he didn't think that was fair at all.

"Mhhh they were really light, lighter than her hair was…I think you would have described it as lavender." Lal said unaware of what people called certain colors. She just stuck with the basic color wheel most of the time.

"The prince doesn't suppose you have a picture?" Belphegor asked pleadingly. He needed something new of hers; anything from before he knew her would be a life saver.

Lal shook her head. "That's where she drew the line; she refused to get her photo taken." She told him sympathetically. "But tomorrow if you aren't dying of a hangover I'll give you a photo that Fon managed to get of all of us." Her hand went to the necklace she was wearing, a gift that she had gotten years ago but never wore since jewelry slowed her down.

"Your hangovers are worse than mine so I don't know what you're talking about Mirch." Belphegor snorted.

"This one never got hangovers, we would drink ourselves stupid back in the military and while all of us were dying of hangovers he would literally be shouting about pixies and no one knew how he did it." Lal said staring at the cross fondly. "God I love that idiot."

The absence of past tense did not go unnoticed by the prince, but he found it better if he didn't point it out since he still used present tenths when he said he loves Mammon. For them there would never be a day when they said 'loved'.

"When the Varia got drunk, Mammy would record us and use it as blackmail." Bel said in fond remembrance. "One time she even got the Varia."

"I remember that day; she e-mailed all of us and then demanded that we give her twenty dollars." Lal said. Both of them laughed because that was just like her.

* * *

"Is it too early to get smashed…?" Bel asked when they had been at the graves for a majority of the day, only getting up when it was necessary for them to eat. Lussuria, like always, had packed them a lunch that Bel had stuck in the backseat before getting into the car earlier that morning. It was starting to get dark and with darkness came the coldness and neither of them was dressed properly for how cold it would soon get.

"It's never too early to get smashed." Lal answered dully.

"Good because I need a drink." Bel said standing up with great effort. He never wanted to leave the small hill, but it felt like there was something pulling him away from the grave, forcing him to get up and live his life. He held out a hand for her. "Get up Lal, it's time to go."

Lal looked up at him. "Do I really have to go?" She questioned.

Bel looked at her knowingly; he had the same thoughts most of the time. But there was still that nagging feeling he got telling him that he still had a lie he needed to participate in. "The prince demands that you get up and have a scotch or two; it would make you feel better." He said.

Reluctantly the broken woman took the broken man's hand and heaved herself up. "Nothing makes me feel better." She dusted off her pants and turned to the grave markers. "We'll be back in two months." She told them.

In two months it would be July and come July it would be both of their birthdays. Both of them would have people trying to distract them from those days, but even then it didn't stop the two from going at the end of the night before it turned midnight.

"Goodbye love." Bel said saluting his loves 'resting place', "The Varia will be drinking in your honor."

"I'll get your usual drink you fool." Lal muttered under her breath.

"I'm sure he would appreciate it." Bel said, clapping a hand on her shoulder.

Both sighed once more, because they didn't want to go but they had to. The day was ending and they weren't very fond of the cold.

With a finale wave the two dragged themselves away from the hill and back into the impala that was still warm.

* * *

"We were going to get married and have ten children when we could, and live in a palace meant for only the highest of royalty. I had our whole life planned out." A very drunk Bel slurred to the equally drunken woman across from him. "Do you know how it feels to have your whole future taken from you? I had all of our children's names already picked out; we were going to name our first born daughter Neomi and our first son after her father because isn't that what you usually do with first sons?"

Lal rolled her eyes. "Don't even get me started on things ruining your life. My life was PERFECT before that stupid, gorgeous, blond moron walked into my life. I was perfectly fine with being an asexual being who took joy out of making grown men cry. Then out of nowhere this idiot shows up and my life turned to hell!" She exclaimed throwing her hands in the air. She lay on the table, covering most of it with her arms, "But no; I fell in love with a student that I couldn't have." She pouted.

"I feel in love with a baby for crying out loud! Do you know how much of a pedophile I felt like when I took her out on a nice date and everyone told me how cute of a baby I had!" Bel exclaimed. "Couldn't you guys have been cursed to be like pre-teens or something? Who gets cursed to be a fucking baby?"

"Apparently we did and it's the worst thing ever; I mean you have to find clothes that fit you all over, you have to explain to your boss why you're two years old again and then, then, you have to deal with the fact that you can never do anything you want without people thinking 'now what is that baby doing with a machine gun?' and lastly you have to deal with the fact that any chance you ever had at a relationship is probably gone." Lal ranted on drunkenly before face palming the bar table.

"I really love that cheeky baby even if most of the Varia thought that she was a he and that we were gay lovers." Bel said to the half-conscious CEDEF worker. "I wanted to start a life with her and teach our children how to kill without mercy…They would have my grin and her hair and our children would have been simply beautiful little sociopaths." He said firmly. He spun around in his chair and looked at the people behind them. "My girlfriend is dead, we used to murder people together and commit other illegal actions and now she's dead and I'm just a guy that kills people now."

The people behind them, who were actually just Basil and Fran waiting for the two to pass out drunk, pretended to look scared by what they had just heard…it wasn't hard since Bel and Lal were so drunk they could mistake a lamp for a human being.

"And I nearly slept with my student, many times…I wish I did it as well…but nope he's dead." Lal grumbled.

"Should have slept with him when you had the chance," Bel said patting her on the head sympathetically. "Should she not have slept with her student when she had the chance?" He asked the 'strangers' behind them.

"You're creepy stop talking to us." Fran said blandly. He, for once, wasn't wearing the frog hat because well Bel was drunk and he never could tell who he was when he was this hammered.

Basil elbowed him in the side. "Yes, thou should have taken the chance when thou had it." He said unaware of how he should answer. He wasn't really sure how to answer anything when those two were drunk.

Bel gave the stranger a look that said he would kill him. "I'm not creepy you fool, I miss my love." He exclaimed, taking out a knife from his pocket…okay, so he kind of snuck a few knives in his pocket but could you really blame him?

"Okay, it's time to get the drunks home." Fran said to Basil while he stood. "I'll knock em out you go pay the tab." He told the blue eyed teen.

Basil nodded and stood. Iemitsu had given him enough money to pay the two's usual bar tab for one night. It was usually a lot between the two and for some reason his master was perfectly fine with paying the high amount of money. "I'll take Lal-dono back to her apartment when this is paid for."

Fran, who had successfully knocked out both of them without much hassle, nodded and slung the prince over his shoulder, "This guy is heavy; we need to put him on a diet." He stated.

* * *

All of the Varia was up when Fran returned home with Belphegor. The prince was awake at this point, shouting about wanting his Mammon back in his arms at this dammed moment.

"The poor baby, he needs rest." Lussuria said taking the intoxicated male from Fran.

"He needs a breath mint." Fran said making a face at the man's breath. It's like he's been eating dirt for three years straight."

Levi rolled his eyes. "I don't see why he still cares so much, Mammon isn't coming back so what's the point?" He asked.

"VOI, THAT'S NOT THE POINT. YOU DON'T KNOW THE PAIN OF LOSING YOUR BEST FRIEND!" Squalo shouted as he dodged a wine glass thrown at his head.

"Shut your loud mouth trash!" Xanxus shouted. He was in no damn mood for this shit.

Lussuria shook his head; they shouldn't be acting like this today. They needed to be there for Bel, but no they were being as Varia like as always. "Come on Bel I'm taking you to bed."

"I wanna sleep in Mammon's room; take me to the baby's room!" Bel exclaimed.

That's exactly what the flamboyant man did, he carried him up the many stairs to where the Mists slept, all of whom spent the day grieving for their lost caption in a different way than Bel had, and made sure that he was in the overly large bed before leaving him to sleep. He would have tucked him into bed himself if not for the fact that he would start shouting if he even stepped foot into the room.

Bel curled himself up in a ball on the bed. Even after all these years and all the times he had come into the room it still smelt like her. The smell comforted him enough to go to sleep. The trained assassin would never, ever, admit to falling asleep hugging a frog shaped pillow.

* * *

Basil had a lot more difficulty getting Lal home compared to Fran, he had to wrestle a pair of car keys out of her grasp and then drag her into the car, and drive her back to her apartment without trouble. He learned very quickly that when she was drunk and people were trying to take her car keys from her she went into war mode and tried to kill you…it was even harder trying to explain that he was just trying to help when she kept fighting back.

After two hours of trying to get the blue haired woman home he found himself tucking her into bed with a bucket at her side just in case she got sick.

"Basil, don't go yet." Lal said quietly reaching out for him.

"What is it Lal-dono?" He asked, ready to stay the night in the guest bedroom that she had if she needed him to.

"Second shelf on the left there's a jacket get it for me." She demanded sitting up. Her hand reached out for the piece of clothing she knew he would get it for her.

Basil did indeed do as she asked and, rummaged through the drawer for the green jacket she asked for. He didn't have much trouble finding it, she was pretty organized. "Here thou are." He said handing it too her.

"Now you can leave." Lal told him as she un-did her dress shirt right in front of the younger male.

"Goodnight Lal-dono." Blushing like a tomato Basil hurried out of the room and into the guest one since it was far too late for him to go back to his own home.

Once changed out of the clothes she had worn that day and was wearing the jacket like it was a shock blanket Lal hid in the blankets and fell to sleep.

* * *

**So there it is! I know I kind of tend to focus more on the 5666 but I think I got a good amount of BV in there...I tried! I was thinking of doing a story in Mammon and Colonnello's point of view but I'm not sure if I should or not.**

**This story was mainly based off of Shinedown's Through the Ghost, if you can look the song up because it's amazing. Very talented and glorious band.**


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